The year that was...

I thought I would get in early and reflect on the year, and what a year it has been!

As I always say, most people would consider that my year has been the epitome of shitty, but gosh there was a lot of joy shoved in there.

It was January 6 when we found out that my treatment was not working and the cancer had spread to most of my major organs. And it was on this date that I asked my doctor how long I had to live, and the response was only months. We were told to go and do what we had to do and to live… you know its not good when your doctor gives you that kind of freedom!

With this news, we entered 2014 with the need to make memories.

The mixed emotions of Christmas...

I had big plans for Dear Melanoma in the lead up to Christmas! I was going to write a blog for the ’12 days of Christmas’, but I continually put off writing and here we are today, Christmas Eve, finally posting something.

For those of you that follow the Dear Melanoma Facebook page, you would know that I have a slight (raging) obsession for Christmas. It has always been this way. From December 1 October-ish (lets be honest) Michael Buble Christmas Carols are on repeat, the plans for the Christmas tree are underway, shopping has began, I drool at all the Christmas decorations in the shopping centre, and I fantasise about what Christmas day will be like.

Yay for stylish swimwear that is sun safe!

About a month ago on the Dear Melanoma Facebook page I spoke about my mission to find a great swim top. Although I avoid the most dangerous parts of the day, try and swim in pools with shade and wear sunscreen, it is no longer sufficient.

As a side effect of the clinical trial I am on, I am losing the pigment in my hair and skin. At first it was only my hair – my eyebrows started to go white and then the front segment of my hairline. Thank goodness for hair dye and an amazing hairdresser! But, unfortunately, over the last few months the pigment in my skin is slowly disappearing leaving me with some areas of patchy skin and zero protection. I can get burnt walking short distances or even out for a few minutes at the clothesline. What I didn’t know was that sunscreen would provide zero protection to my skin. Once there is no pigment, sunscreen provides no protection.  For example 50+ sunscreen gives 50 times your own skins ability to protect itself from the sun.  Therefore, I have no protection.

A wonderful organisation called Redkite...

This is an important blog. It is important because I want to highlight the amazing work of a very special organisation.

Redkite is an organisation set up to support young people (under the age of 24) with cancer, as well as their family. Their support is extensive and holistic. They do not just look after the person with cancer, but make sure the patient’s family and friends have the support necessary to get through this difficult time. They ensure that the impact of cancer does not cause financial stress. They assist young people to continue to achieve their career and educational aspirations. They provide emotional support and guidance. And, when necessary, they support their clients through grief and loss.

Pretty amazing, aren’t they?

My life in limbo...

 A few weeks ago, I shared on my Dear Melanoma Facebook page that I had made an appointment to go and see one of the psychologists at the Cancer Council office in Brisbane. I shared this piece of very personal information because I wanted other people to know that I am not this crazy strong young woman that you might think I am from reading my blog or interacting with me online. And, although my treatment is going well, I still struggle with living every day knowing that my time is short. I needed to see a psychologist to have a good cry to and work out how I am going to navigate life with a terminal diagnosis.

When asked by the psychologist at my first session what I wanted help with, I told her that I was struggling with balancing living each day like its my last and living a life where I look forward and plan for the future… but a short future. I needed to know how to navigate a life in limbo.

Thank you for 6 months of support and love...

Last night I was so excited to see that the Dear Melanoma facebook page reached 2000 likes. I wanted to take the opportunity to thank everyone that has followed my journey.

Earlier this year I was going back and forth about whether I wanted to document my life with melanoma. I knew that my friends and family would read it, but never did I expect that I would be opening my life to be scrutinised in the best possible way by the public. Over 65 000 people have read my blog – wow! People know my face and my story and are not afraid to stop me when I am out and about. I knew that if I was to do this, I wanted to write a blog that was 100% honest. This meant that there would be hours spent in front of my laptop with tears running down my face documenting some of my saddest moments and some of my biggest fears I have about dying.