The dreaded bucket list...

Sunday, July 20, 2014

One of my biggest internal struggles on my cancer journey has been with the sometimes exciting, but largely depressing, notion of a bucket list.

My choosing to have, or not to have, a bucket list would change every few weeks. But I realise now, the weeks when I was pro-bucket list I was convincing myself that ‘living in the moment’ and ‘making the most of life’ were phrases that instilled purpose and happiness in a time of uncertainty and sadness. However, when thinking about what I would write on my bucket list, I did not feel like I had purpose and I definitely did not feel happy. Instead, I felt defeated, upset, and I felt like I was dying.

For me, a bucket list was a reminder of what I could not have.

New Facebook page

Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the support you have shown this blog and, in turn, me.

Because I have had such a positive response to 'Dear Melanoma', I have started a Facebook page to work alongside this blog. Not only will I post links to new blog entries, but I will be able to share everyday thoughts and feelings that don't warrant an entire blog.

Here is the link:

I hope you enjoy.

My irrational green-eyed monster

Sunday, July 6, 2014

A few weeks ago I went to my first melanoma support group meeting.

Attending a support group meeting is something I never thought I would do. It is something that I was scared of.

I was scared that I would potentially be faced by what would be my future. I was worried that we would be sitting around in a circle discussing our treatment and our feelings. I was worried that I would begin to compare my journey with others. I was worried that I would be bombarded with suggestions of crazy diets that will cure my cancer or distant lands that promise remission. And, I was worried that the green-eyed monster that has appeared in the last few months would thrive.
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