Good news and bad news...

A quick update...

Last week I shared the news that my latest CT scan wasn’t great. A lesion on my adrenal gland had grown and there appeared to be activity in my lymph nodes.

It is really difficult to explain the emotions that were triggered by this scan. On one hand, I felt silly that I was so upset by these results because the big picture was not that bad – everything else was stable, which is great! But, this one naughty little lesion had the potential to change the direction of my treatment, a treatment that essentially bought me back from death’s door.

It feels like a lifetime ago that I was given three months to live and being told that my only hope of more time would be gaining access to a clinical trial of the drug Keytruda and hope that it would work.

My healing pup...

Crazy dog lady here! Today is our beautiful Ralph’s 1^st birthday and what better way to celebrate than to write a little blog post about what joy and love he has brought to our life – especially mine.

I am going to be honest – I am not a dog person, I never have been and probably never will be. I am a Ralph person. The desire to introduce a little pup to our life was definitely a shock. I did not ever anticipate that I would so badly want a puppy. Nor did I anticipate that I would have my armour and sword drawn ready to battle our landlords (my parents) and future body corporates during the hunt to buy our own place.

So what was it over a year ago that made me start the hunt for a puppy and, in turn, convince Serge that we NEEDED a puppy?

As long as its not cancer, I can manage...

I never thought that I would so casually say, ‘as long as its not cancer, I can manage’ or ‘it is better than the alternative – dying’. However, this has become my reality. It has become my mantra this week.

As those that follow the Dear Melanoma Facebook Page would know, I have had a bit of a rough trot emotionally. However, this last week I have had some scans and tests that fall outside my normal scheduled trial scans. Enter stress, fear, worry and absolute panic mode.

The last month I have been Ms Twitchy McTwitch. I randomly developed a twitch that is the epitome of annoying. Most (lets be honest, pretty much everyone) that I mentioned it to felt the need to share their story of how they often have twitches and it is due to stress or fatigue. I am very well aware that this may be the case as it is not the first twitch that I have had in my almost 24 years, but what sets my special twitch apart is the fact that I have CANCER – CANCER IN MY BRAIN. For me, it is not quite so easy to dismiss it as just fatigue or stress, but instead I fear that this may be an indicator that something is happening in that brain of mine or potentially could be a sign that the cancer has spread to my spinal chord.

Life after cancer...

A few weeks ago a story was published by The New York Times called ‘Lost in Transition After Cancer’, the author Suleika Jaouad who at age 22 was diagnosed with Leukaemia. The story was published during Young Adult Cancer Awareness Week. Suleika wrote about her life since cancer, as well as highlighting the need for ongoing support for those, especially young adults, who are transitioning from life with cancer to life after cancer.

Take the time to read the story here.

Suleika and my story are different in many ways. Suleika had leukaemia, which meant different treatment to what I am on (treatment much more physically demanding and taxing on her body) and a different prognosis – Suleika’s treatment was always meant to get her to remission. Whereas, with Stage 4 Melanoma, remission has never been the destination at the end of my treatment journey – my doctor and I hope for time.

Thank you for 6 months of support and love...

Last night I was so excited to see that the Dear Melanoma facebook page reached 2000 likes. I wanted to take the opportunity to thank everyone that has followed my journey.

Earlier this year I was going back and forth about whether I wanted to document my life with melanoma. I knew that my friends and family would read it, but never did I expect that I would be opening my life to be scrutinised in the best possible way by the public. Over 65 000 people have read my blog – wow! People know my face and my story and are not afraid to stop me when I am out and about. I knew that if I was to do this, I wanted to write a blog that was 100% honest. This meant that there would be hours spent in front of my laptop with tears running down my face documenting some of my saddest moments and some of my biggest fears I have about dying.

My fear of leaving a widow behind...

As many people would know I have a slight (raging) obsession for the show Offspring (Yes, I had to make sure that you didn’t think I was talking about the band)!

One of the hardest part of living in East Timor was missing out on watching Offspring. East Timor failed me on two levels. Firstly, I couldn’t rely on the local, not so legal, DVD shop to be up-to-date with the most recent episodes. And, secondly, my internet connection couldn’t refresh Facebook, let alone watch TV online. So, what does a girl do…I would rely on my trusty mother to record all the episodes and I would have an Offspring marathon when I came home for a holiday (skin checks) every three months. She is a good woman!