As many of you know last weekend I surprised Serge with a
night away. Yes, I know what you are all thinking I am the one with cancer, I
should be treated to surprise weekend’s away… I joke!! You all know what an
amazing man Serge is and that he is very deserving of a weekend away. If money
grew on trees Serge would be treated to lots of surprises – we can only dream!
Serge and I have had a pretty hectic last few months with my
sinuses playing up and Serge has been busy with work. We have both been a little
bit low and getting a bit narky at each other. We haven't had much time to be madly in love. We always try and spend our free
days together and do something special, but this just hasn’t happened. And
since the purchase of our little humble abode, planning our next big adventure
seems a bit irresponsible. However, having an adventure on our horizon in many
ways keeps us going, in particular me – it gives me something tangible to focus
on. Once again, if only money grew on trees…
Did these tears ruin our weekend? No – I honestly think I
needed them.
I now have had terminal cancer for over 18 months and since
ditching the ‘live in the moment’ and ‘make every moment count’ attitude, we have been able to live a relatively normal life and life
does indeed go on. There is not a day where I forget about cancer and all the emotions
that come with it, but I am able to keep on going and get on with it. I have a routine
that does not leave time to dwell and cry.
And on top of that, my overriding way of coping is to accept
my terminal prognosis and my friends and family are very used to me talking
(often joking) about death. This in no way means that I have given up or am at
a point of acceptance where I am immune to the emotions, but I do stay strong
and often don’t allow myself those moments of blubbery tears.
Serge and I also need to have something to look forward to.
I think having our routine is fantastic in keeping normality in our life, but I
also think we need something to look forward to – something to keep me going.
The last 18 months I have had certain events that I hoped that I would be
alive for and in a way it kept me well. We had our wedding,
the birth of my sister’s baby, my birthday, overseas holidays and many more.
Serge and I need to sit down and talk about what is next.
What can we look forward to?
Another holiday?
A new niece or nephew?
Maybe start studying again?
A second wedding? (Trying to convince Serge that we need to renew our vows, help a lady out people!!!)
So, my task is to allow more time to reflect and let the
blubbery tears out, and to find a money tree so we can plan our next adventure.
Emma,
ReplyDeleteYou are BEAUTIFUL!! As I read tour blog I kept having this smile on my face getting bigger & bigger. I wanted to crawl though the internet & hug you & dance around a big beach bonfire!! You have been Blessed by Serge. Yet Serge has been Blessed in many ways by you!!!
On that note.....
Serge, do the Wedding!!!
Don't just do it on your actual anniversary. Do it each month or week. Celebrate each other & the love that brought you together & grows each & every day!! Be creative!! It doesn't have to be big & fancy. Just even the 2 of you recommiting your love & vows. Make new ones, use the same ones. Who cares!!! Just Do It!!!!
No Regrets, Just LOVE!!!
Laurie Krous
Yes - renew your vows!! I think that's a beautiful idea :-) A really serious crying session can be so therapeutic. I really enjoy reading your blog - your strength is incredibly inspiring. xo
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