A dedication to my husband. Serge...

The 31^st October is a special time for Serge and I, not because it is Halloween, but because it marks a year since we got engaged.

Tonight I want to dedicate this blog to what an amazing man my husband is – the sacrifices he has made for our love and all the joy that he brings to my life.

As a very wise woman (Rebecca Sparrow) said to me, not everyone is lucky enough to find a Great Love in his or her lifetime. Although my lifetime may be short, I am so very lucky that Serge arrived when I needed him most.

Hope in death...

In January, I was sitting down with a palliative care team discussing how I wanted to die. I did not ask about what I could expect. I didn’t ask about the pain I would feel. I did not ask about how I will lose my independence. I already knew what to expect from my last months or weeks of my life.

Instead, I told the palliative care team what I wanted. I told them how I wanted to die. I wanted to die in my family home. I did not want to spend my last days in a hospital. I wanted to die in the bed I share with my husband. I did not want to be forced into a single hospital bed away from my husband.

I know that my last weeks aren’t going to be nice and I am either going to be in pain or out to it on painkillers, but all I can wish for is an ounce of control. Control that cancer would slowly take away from me.