Lessons from unattractive blubbery tears...

As many of you know last weekend I surprised Serge with a night away. Yes, I know what you are all thinking I am the one with cancer, I should be treated to surprise weekend’s away… I joke!! You all know what an amazing man Serge is and that he is very deserving of a weekend away. If money grew on trees Serge would be treated to lots of surprises – we can only dream!

Serge and I have had a pretty hectic last few months with my sinuses playing up and Serge has been busy with work. We have both been a little bit low and getting a bit narky at each other. We haven't had much time to be madly in love. We always try and spend our free days together and do something special, but this just hasn’t happened. And since the purchase of our little humble abode, planning our next big adventure seems a bit irresponsible. However, having an adventure on our horizon in many ways keeps us going, in particular me – it gives me something tangible to focus on. Once again, if only money grew on trees…

Birthday tears...

For those of you that follow the Dear Melanoma Facebook Page and Instagram page, you would know that a few weeks ago it was my birthday. I was very much looking forward to the day/week and was excited (like the 23 birthdays prior), but instead I was gifted with an emotional break down.

My break down was not because I didn’t get lots of love from my family and friends. It wasn’t because certain family members or friends could not be there to celebrate.

Instead, it was 100% my fault – I put too much pressure on this celebration. I put too much pressure on making memories. I put too much pressure on making sure that this birthday was worthy of being potentially my last.

My life in limbo...

 A few weeks ago, I shared on my Dear Melanoma Facebook page that I had made an appointment to go and see one of the psychologists at the Cancer Council office in Brisbane. I shared this piece of very personal information because I wanted other people to know that I am not this crazy strong young woman that you might think I am from reading my blog or interacting with me online. And, although my treatment is going well, I still struggle with living every day knowing that my time is short. I needed to see a psychologist to have a good cry to and work out how I am going to navigate life with a terminal diagnosis.

When asked by the psychologist at my first session what I wanted help with, I told her that I was struggling with balancing living each day like its my last and living a life where I look forward and plan for the future… but a short future. I needed to know how to navigate a life in limbo.